An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods.
Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.
Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him "Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked.
"I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer says.
"Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?"
"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief.
"I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize." And the golfer walks off.
"What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."
A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the American golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.
"Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says.
"I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"
"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right."
I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?"
"When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know were there!"
"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?"
The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "It's OK."
"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?"
Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, "Once, sometimes twice a week."
"What??" responds the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?"
"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic Priest in a small parish."
Happy Veterans Day!!! TLR
Inbox
Another message from Terry: From : T. L. Rippy Sent : Monday, November 13, 2006 10:15 PM To : blueghostred@msn.com, Subject : Got your back | | | Inbox Subject: !Got your back
ReplyDeleteAre you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always
<> sound good, But never actually come close to reality?
<> Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of
<> true friendship.
<>
<> You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
<> Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
<>
<>
<> 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot
<> revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
<>
<> 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is
<> choking you.
<>
<> 3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
<>
<> 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every
<> chance I get.
<>
<> 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories
<> about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
<>
<> 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
<>
<> 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until
<> you are well again.
<> I don't want whatever you have.
<>
<> 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it,
<> But only you can feel the true warmth.
<> And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for
<> tequila and salt and call me over !!!!!